Since the inception of this column four months ago, this will be the first time I address my own gender. Let's set a few ground rules from the get go: men may fantasize, but we don't accessorize. In fact,
don't call them accessories at all: "men's furnishings" if you please. I believe they are refereed to as furnishings primarily because it is you, the dear women in our lives, who furnish them for us, as we'd
happily "struggle" along without them. Eager to infuse our dreary gray flannel existence with a hint of savoir-faire, you cleverly foist a
plethora of decorative neckwear on us for every possible occasion.
There is nothing remotely enjoyable, however, about the ritual knotting of 3 ½" of silk around our necks when preparing to forage through the
corporate jungle. The nicest thing most men have to say about wearing neckties is that by comparison, shaving seems almost a pleasure. Between the scraping and the tying, being a man
can be a literal pain in the neck. On that fact, I am sure I will not receive any arguments from you.
Chinese warriors of the second century BC sported decorative wraps around
their necks and were ceremonially buried in them. Unfortunately, they did not take the idea with them as Roman legionnaires of 200 AD also sported scarf-like ties while
bludgeoning their emperors and searching for that last boatload of virgins to have survived Pompeii.